The laws of physics demand at least one bag of popcorn.
— Tim
| On Cinema at the Cinema | |
| Season | 7 |
|---|---|
| Episode | 1 |
| Hosts | Tim Heidecker |
| Guests | Gregg Turkington |
| Released | September 9, 2015 |
| Films reviewed | Ant Man (2015, 117 mins.) Fantastic Four (2015, 100 mins.) |
| Segments | None |
| Runtime | 12 min. 1 sec. |
| Video link | YouTube Adult Swim |
On Cinema returns as Tim talks Ant-Man, Fantastic Four, and the future of Decker with guest Gregg Turkington.
It's the start of “Lucky Season Seven,” heralded by a fun new casino-themed opening animation. Tim is back, as is special guest Gregg Turkington, whose return to On Cinema was uncertain following the end of Decker: Port of Call: Hawaii. Gregg relates that he was in talks with ABC to produce a new movie review series called Our Cinema, but abandoned the attempt after some “sticking points” in the negotiations. Tim also takes a moment to explain why he burned Gregg's tapes; he claims he thought they were dubs. Gregg laments their loss, comparing it to someone torching artwork in the Louvre. However, he announces that he has acquired a new collection from a video shop in Victorville, California, who phased out their entire VHS collection and turned the keys to the storage facility holding it over to Gregg. He has moved to Victorville and is cataloging the collection, which he says is three times the size of his previous one. He christens it the Victorville Film Archives.
Tim gives a brief update on his life, saying Ayaka and Tom Cruise Heidecker Jr. are in good health. He also announces that a new season of Decker is in the works, and that Gregg will be in charge of directing, writing, and other creative duties (delegating these tasks in the manner of Spielberg).
To start the movie reviews, they air a scrolling list of “Summer 5-Baggers,” then finally jump into the two movies on the docket- both films in which the reviewers themselves were cast! First up is Ant Man, directed by Peyton Reed, and featuring Gregg Turkington in the cast. Gregg recuses himself from reviewing his own film. Tim, however, excoriates it, describing it as a “miss,” a “train wreck,” and “one of the worst movies I've ever seen,” and shames the entire cast and crew. He gives it one “sad, lonely” bag of popcorn.
Next up is Fantastic Four, starring Tim Heidecker in a star-studded cast. Tim calls it a “home run,” and a perfectly-done film, and praises director Josh Trank. Gregg says it's an excellent superhero movie, and he understands why Tim paid $15,000 to be in it. Tim immediately jumps in to refute this claim, saying he was paid $15,000 to be in it, not the other way around. A heated argument begins about the issue, and the two continue to spar after the lights dim.